Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
