That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
