I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
