im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A+ Viking dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
