my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
