I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
