The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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