yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
