Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
