He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it was like eating out sand paper
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
