found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
