so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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