You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
