Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
