Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
