Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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