I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
