i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
