new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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