only if we run a train.
done.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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