ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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