I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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