when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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