There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need moral support for this bender
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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