I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
