if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
