Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
