who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
