I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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