when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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