i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
