def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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