This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize