It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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