I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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