WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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