You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize