guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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