Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
