Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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