She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
