I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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