just tell him i said nine months
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you win again, gameday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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