You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
