I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize