but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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