never play flip cup with pint glasses
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
