Im at strip club and am horny
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
