you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
