In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
