Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
