dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so let's talk penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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