you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
