I am puke
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
