i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
