It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
