i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
