that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
