I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
