Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
