I think I won the penis lottery.
Welp...herpes.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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