every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
