Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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