this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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