I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Houston, we have a squirter
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
