theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
