i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
