I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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