Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
