Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
