Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My vagina is officially offended.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
