p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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