Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize