YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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