so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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