you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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