And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
