He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize