her vagine was all disorganized.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
