yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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