im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am available for nakedness
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
